Having just left the month of love, one might want to take a seat, reflect, and consider what love really is.
According to the William Webster dictionary, love is a strong affection. A profound and caring affection towards someone. This might explain why people seem to be super kind to the ones they love. This article is not centered on the definition of love, but what stops people from falling in and out of love?
Divorce is very popular these days, some attributable to people’s tendency to base their love on certain characteristics of a person, they quickly fall out of love once they see other parts of the person like in the case of physical things
The Bible and old ancient books on love explain that love should be unconditional, meaning choosing to love someone no matter what happens. It’s quite difficult to love someone, self love is quite easy because whatever good thing you do for yourself, you reap the benefits but for another, we might live all your life without getting the same energy in return. So what then should you do, should you preach self-love and damn every other kind, or do you continue to make an effort to love while others do as they see fit?
A friend of mine usually says “Boys were meant to love and girls decide if he is good enough for her to commit to forever”. Looking at this, it’s quite obvious that we practice the opposite: the girls fall in love while the boys decide if she’s good enough to commit to her for the rest of their lives. How then do we get to a place where both parties are willing to put in the same amount of effort to make it work. Listed below are a few things that could help form a better relationship.
Always remember that communication is the most important part of your relationship, no matter how often the two of you talk, you may not be communicating well enough. Quality conversations are all about tapping into your partner’s emotions and understanding what they’re feeling. Dedicate time to discuss issues important to you both as a couple and individually, you don’t have to wait for things to come up naturally. Of course, they also need to feel comfortable expressing emotions clearly enough for you to empathize. No matter how well you know each other, you’ll never be mind-readers, so make sure that you’re relaying how you’re feeling when you’re not happy which is important. For example, if you’re upset because your date is late to dinner, don’t spend the evening being passive-aggressive and hoping they’ll catch on that you’re angry. Instead, have a mature conversation about it, and make sure you’re really hearing each other.
Be Open And Keep An Open Mind
Life’s tough, and one perk of being part of a pair is that you don’t have to do it alone. Having someone you love and trust by your side can make your struggle at least a bit more bearable. Feeling supported by someone you trust can take a lot of emotional weight off your shoulders. You should be open and upfront with your partner, no matter how difficult the topic or situation may be. Keep in mind that it’s possible to be truthful without being harsh. So if you feel like you’ve been contributing financially more than your partner, having an honest discussion about it should be easier because you both trust and respect each other. Of course, the feeling should go both ways. Holding back things will make you feel sad later, at some point you will feel you are doing too much.
Have Your Own Life
In order to be content as a couple, you have to be content as an individual. When you have a fulfilling job, supportive friends, and exciting passions, You will have a strong sense of self-confidence. which is pretty important when you’re in a relationship. This is so vital, your relationship may be a large part of your identity, but above all, you’re still who you are as an individual beyond your various roles in life. If you don’t have your own interests outside of your partner and your relationship, you’ll wind up putting too much pressure on them to make you feel happy.
Your love language may not be quality time, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important. The great thing about quality time together is that it’s totally open to interpretation. Whether you and your partner feel closest when you’re watching a black-and-white movie on the weekend or cooking your favorite meal together on a weeknight, it’s imperative that you keep the connection alive and well. Reminding each other why you’re together will only strengthen what you have. Equally important as quality time together, though, is quality time apart. You should both take time for yourselves, too, to do those things that are important to each of you individually. This ties back into maintaining your own identity as part of a couple.
Similar Life Goals
Your life goals should be compatible, but you and your partner don’t have to share the same idea of a white picket fence. You shouldn’t have to give up becoming a parent because they don’t want to be one if you’ve always wanted children. Similarly, if being close to your family on the same coast is vital to you, but your partner is desperate to live on the other side of the world, they may not be the right person for you. “You both know what you want out of life, what your mutual aspirations are, what you wish to achieve in life, and are firmly committed to doing things together,” says a happy couple.
Unpredictable situations can throw a wrench in your plans, so staying optimistic during a less-than-ideal situation is critical. Being positive may be the secret to maintaining harmony; although some people are born with optimism, others must think their way to happiness. Being able to be optimistic is vital for the long-term success of every relationship, regardless of who you are. For example, if you’re having trouble getting pregnant and it’s affecting your emotional well-being, having a partner who can help you get back on your feet can improve your relationship and your ability to weather potential storms. However, keep in mind that you should have reasonable expectations of your partner, the partnership, and the future. If you think too far beyond the realm of imagination, you’ll be disappointed. Remember that, in addition to yourself, if you’re dealing with another extremely complicated person. Without following crazy theories, there is plenty to work with.
I hope that this article helps those who are looking for that forever relationship. Please share your thoughts under this post, as well as any questions you might have.